"As divorce cases go, it is as explosive and sordid as it gets: a woman catches her husband having sex with a prostitute, forgives him, but finally throws in the towel after discovering he has been unfaithful again. Yet absolutely none of it happened in real life.
Amy Taylor is divorcing David Pollard, her husband of three years, on the grounds of "unreasonable behaviour" after she discovered his character in the online community game Second Life had been having an affair.
It was the second time that Ms Taylor, 28, had caught her husband's virtual alter ego being unfaithful. Before they were married, she had once awoken from an afternoon nap to discover him sitting at his computer watching his online character 鈥?whom he had named Dave Barmy 鈥?having sex with an on-screen call girl.
She said: "I went mad 鈥?I was so hurt. I just couldn't believe what he'd done. I looked at the computer screen and could see his character having sex with a female character. It's cheating as far as I'm concerned."
Full article here: http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/鈥?/a>
Is cheating with someone online really cheating?
What do you think?|||Actually I think it depends on who you are and what limits you have set. An online affair signalled to his wife that she was insufficient and probably sent her a red flag that he may do something like that in real life given the chance.
As much as I hate to bring religion into this.... A lot of people are Christians. Their religion teaches that he who looks at a woman lustfully has commited adultery in his own heart. These are the lines that I''m willing to bet she was thinking. Some people will call it quits if they notice that they have a partner with a wandering eye. This development that you post about does not surprise me. Mind you, I would not call it quits with a woman over something like this. But I have a different threshold, and am not the jealous or possessive type.|||This was a very interesting question, especially paired with the article. I like the answer you picked, also.
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|||Thanx Twilight.
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|||I posted this question yesterday and i thought it was quite ridiculous to get divorced over but as you can see from my answers some agreed with me, some didnt. Its a strange world lol.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>|||It's borderline, anyways. I would wonder why he thought it would be fun to make his virtual character have sex with a call girl. I wouldn't be impressed at all but I don't think I'd consider that to be a real affair. Not unless he was beginning to have some kind of relationship with whoever was controlling the virtual call girl. Otherwise I'd just be weirded out. LOL|||no because your not kissing with no body
|||Well, I think everyone has different standards. But for me, I would say that is cheating. I wouldn't just let it go. I'm fine with the guy watching porn, but not chatting with someone on the computer. It's kind of like talking on the phone. |||I think in this situation, it is completely stupid. If, however, i caught my hubby having a relationship, or 'affair of the heart' as it were with a woman on line, i would be devastated. Intellectual intimacy is cheating in my book. harmless flirting, like teasing in a chat room, calling another person honey or cutie is just innocent fun, but when you go beyond that, sharing intimate details of your life exclusively with one person, that is crossing the line. what this article describes is like getting pissed at your virtual pet then killing your dog|||I would say it isn't really cheating but I did not realize that this was possible online!! The game must have really great graphics is all I can say!|||Of course not, that's ridiculous. If that's the case, there should be a lot more divorces based on impure thoughts of both men and women.|||It's a good question - and it all depends on how you define 'sex'. Is kissing someone really cheating? You could say it's the intent that counts - he was doing something sexual with a person other than his wife, knowing she already had concerns about this. I'd say - guilty as charged :-)|||No. That's a game. What a silly and stupid divorce case. The marriage was probably shot long before the virtual couch thing.|||Yes. Cheating is cheating. No matter what.|||This will have to be answered by each couple and the boundaries they have established in their relationship.
If one partner is substituting on-line sex and erotica for the passion of loving their partner then I personally think it is problematic.
If one partner takes care of the other satisfactorily then this would be something agreed upon and not a 'shock'.
It all boils down to lack of communicating. It is easier to have a relationship with a machine. Make the decision.
|||Yes, I think it is. I don't know if I'd get divorced over it, but as far as I'm concerned, it's cheating.|||People can get divorced for whatever reason they want to. But, "cheating" on-line or any virtual porn, in my opinion, isn't any more a violation of a real-life convenant between two people as are romance novels. Why do you think so many women, married women, read romance novels? They are masturbation fantasies with imaginary lovers.|||If the couple agree it's OK, it's OK. If they agree it's not OK, it isn't. If they don't talk about it, they ought to talk about it first.
The way the story is written, it sounds silly to take it seriously. But in real life, people get very emotionally and sexually involved with the person behind the other computer, at which point it's no longer just a game.
In this case, based on the full article, it sounded as if the husband was telling his wife their marriage was over because he thought he'd fallen for the woman behind the Second Life avatar. Real people leave their spouses for others they've met on Second Life. Others would never think beyond the game and the avatars.|||Hmmm, this is the same sort of issue as whether reading porn magazines IRL is cheating.
I'm inclined to think, *theoretically*, that if the porn or online gaming was a masturbatory aid, it's NOT cheating.
But if it's about something else ~ intimacy, affection, being someplace mentally that you haven't shared with your partner, then yes, it is cheating.
At least in your heart.
In this case, the woman FELT cheated on. Was her husband's intent to cheat or simply have a w@nk?
The fact he hid it from her over a period of time suggests he was cheating ~ at least in the sense of not being open and honest with his partner about his needs and desires, and perhaps of hiding something from her knowing she would not like it. That is very like lying or deceit.
So I guess I have to say 'maybe' ... I don't think it's possible to have a blanket 'ruling' on the matter.
Cheers :-)|||That's a really good question. Some people think it is. I don't know. I don't considering cybering with someone cheating because you don't really know who it is you're speaking to. I mean if I'm cybering a girl online, for all I know it could be a 300-lb. black guy named Bubba. I never could understand the point of cybering anyway. If you want to get your cookies off, why not go to a porn site? |||well there is emotional cheating, basically where one of the partners loves another person. Which in some ways hurts worst, then just a romp in the hay.
idk about this Second life game....at some point a game is just a game. |||Behavior like this warrants a slap on the wrist, but not a divorce.
This is the type of thing wives put their hubbies in the dog house for or let them sleep on the sofa for a night or two. It's called behaving like a bastard. It's technically not cheating in my book.|||No, that's daft|||Oh no! My husband, my son and their mates are all mass murderers!!!!!
*bella screams, her eyes wild, her heart pounding heavily against her ribcage, vomit bubbling in her throat, can't decide what to do first, phone the police, contact her divorce lawyer, hide her porn, or smash the computer to end their game of CounterStrike.|||After reading the article it sounds like a couple of personalities that are going to have issues! Cyber issues LOL |||This couple had a more real virtual life than real life according to your article. It is nonsense, it is just a game. She is upset because they got together online and she has now started a new relationship online.
It seems this couple could not manage a real life relationship. They may or may not manage any real life relationships. They can not distinguish real life from a game, can not deal with real life according to the article.
Online is not real. It became real when they first met in person. You can have good friendship online, you can not have a physical relationship.
What is the worse he has done? Masturbated. That is his body, not the online girl's. No physical contact was made. Emotional attachment can be made with people online. They are friends, it is not a romantic relationship. This article and some of the answers are hilarious.|||Geeps! I really find this freaky!
All I can say is thank god my guy is not interested in sitting on the computer on chat sites or yahoo or any of that stuff. He's more of an outdoors-ey, or reading-the-paper, or TV type!
Hell yes I would be mortified if he did creepy stuff like that! I'm not saying he can't... He can do what he wants, but i'd be out the door and in to my own place in a flash. I don't go for that type.... Obviously this guy has had a whole affair with this online chick! To me that is not simply a 'masturbatory tool'!
Someone above said 'a bit of harmless flirting in a chat room is fine'.... I disagree big time.
EDIT: Permaculture Bella - WTF??? That's wrong!|||I have been cheating with someone online for a few months and I consider it to be as real as it can get without actually being there. I have even fallen in love with him. Ofcourse, my marriage has been over for quite sometime and I no longer live with my husband. Divorce is imminent. The point is is that it is as close to cheating as you can get especially if your heart is into it. Suppose I would be upset if I was in a relationship and I found out my husband or boyfriend was having sex online...Knowing what I know now, it is cheating!|||Yes, it is cheating. But I'm not sure how many courts would recognize it as cheating.
Adultery- Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse.|||Cheating on line is cheating. They are turning to someone other than their spouse for their needs. its cheating
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