How do I help my husband's mother?

My husband's mother lives with us. She has for two years. She is a sweet lady, but she refuses to take a bath. My son and I throw up all the time from the smell she leaves behind when she sits and she won't even wash her clothes. Or let us wash them. She can't tell reality from her online gaming life. My own husband thinks she needs help because he has only a brother and sister (his birth cert. says so) he has met them yet she says she has had 8-12 children. (she never can make up her mind.) We even had a key logger put on the computer and caught her writing to a friend that she was going to hurt us all. She won't get any form of ID and I can not afford to have her see a doctor. She has insurance and can go anytime she wants but she won't. My husband wants her gone from here because we are afraid, but says he can't throw her out on the street. Is there anyway to help her because I have a 4 year old and am very much afraid of what is going to happen.How do I help my husband's mother?
I would contact the crisis services in your area. While being stinky and believing she has 12 children probably won't warrant intervention, the information about her wanting to hurt you may. If crisis services does determine she needs in patient treatement, her insurance will have to pay for it. Depending on your state, she may not have much say about it. However, this will not be indefinite, but for a period of time determined by state law. Good thing too because she probably doesn't need long term IP treatment.



If some sort of intervention is offered, IP or with an agency that offers outpatient treatment, it will likely be suggested she is moved out of your house. There are places that help people with mental illnesses work towards living on their own. So, if things went right, she might end up happily living on her own or in some sort of supportive housing.



If all else fails, you could seek legal aid counsel. And you should definitely do this before you decide to "throw her out on the street". Not only is it profoundly unfair to not give her any notice or chance of getting alternate housing, it may be illegal and you may be subject to punative fines.
Put her in a nursing home. She sounds like she really has Alzheimer's....or dementia.



Save all of the emails, letters--get details on gambling, etc.....he may need to have her found incompetent to handle her own affairs.How do I help my husband's mother?
This is what I think you should do. Go play outside with your family and have a water balloon fight with each other. As soon as she hears all the commotion outside then all of y'all throw water balloons at her. Maybe then some of the dirty stuff can wash off. Good luck ........
Hey there,



What you are talking about are all symptoms of something that needs to be followed up on. It can be a number of different things, so a call to her MD should be made immediatley.



Basic hygeine is usually one of the first things to go with a mental type illness. The delusions of having children ( of maybe she is just lying) is important as well. The gambling can be a compulsion/obsession and maybe tied into a mental illness.



How old is she? It can be a dementia type illness? The threats are not good..



If it gets really bad, you can always call 911 and they will take her to the emergency room and give her a checkup (if you feel like she is a danger to her self or to others)



The best thing to do is is to talk her into getting an assessement. If you can't there are other ways to do it.



Good luck.How do I help my husband's mother?
Talk to her, that she affect your 4 years old child, if she doesn't take a shower or bath.
She sounds schizophrenic. Get her admitted into the psych ward ASAP.
I can understand completely how you are feeling. I had a step-mother who had serious problems. She came to live with us, because when I met her for the first time her living conditions were not well at all. After she burned my couch with a cigarette, started cutting books up with scissors, throwing things and acting completely out of control, (my husband was out to sea at the time), I knew it was time we had to do something, before one of us was hurt. When my husband got back home, we approached her together and very lovingly tried to tell her she needed some help, and that we would support her all the way. When she got into my husbands face, I simply put my had on her shoulder to try to calm her down, she slapped me in the face. After that, my husband walked her to the door and told her to leave. We called for help and the police took her to be evaluated. She was released and left town. Moral of my experience: You must get her some help, or she will ruin, hurt, (or worse) hurt your relationship with your husband, eventually destroy your household. Tell her to get help, or she has to go. DO NOT let her get away with this anymore!!! Good Luck!
You may have to have an authority from a mental hospital come in your home and evulate her. She may need to be moved into a home and let someone else handle her. That is so unhealthy for your household, especially with a child present.