it has even got to the point to where he is calling this woman on his personal cell phone that my mom bought for him!! me, my fiance and my brother all think it is rediculous how much he is in contact with this woman. he likes to speak to her while everyone is asleep at late and early hours. my dad has had a past of being into porn and things like that (i know this because i have walked in on him doing things while watching porn) he is a very disturbing man and he is very shut off from the family. he treats the whole family as if we have done something wrong to him. some days he is very quiet and does not want to talk to us at all but then other days he is loud and wants to talk but only about his boring game. so we have to pretend to listen to him other wise he gets upset and says"FINE! YOU DONT CARE SO GO AWAY" i know it hurts my mom so much when he treats us like crap and especially when he yellls at her. i want her to leave him SO MUCH just because shes never known what its like to be TRULEY loved but we have so many bills that if she left him we would lose our home and be broke.
i dont know what to do. i just wish he would start loving the family again. like he did when we were kids. should i confront him about how him talking to another woman bothers me? or should i just leave him alone like what my mom does?My dad is playing an online game with another woman half his age. is that cheating? i know it hurts my mom.?
Yeah I once got addicted to SecondLife. Imagine that game The Sims on crack but playing it with real people. So you have real relationships, sexual encounters, running a business, hanging out with friends...whatever you choose to do. Is it cheating? Sort of. The relationship he shares with this woman is probably virutally real. If you saw what he was doing it would probably look like them two are married in the game and having sex (virtual fake sex that is). I've seen games like that ruin marriages or make them stronger (fit both partners are playing the game), but yes...I do know how addicting SecondLife can be which is why I had to stop playing. It was ruining my "real" life and my social contacts in my "real" life.
Unfortunately, unless a miracle happens, I think it's going to take drastic action to get him off the computer on a more permanent basis...especially if he's already built a "virtual" relationship with this other woman whom he uses to fullfill his "real" life needs. Afterall, it took me a lot of will power to finally kick my SecondLife habit.My dad is playing an online game with another woman half his age. is that cheating? i know it hurts my mom.?
Well, I have to be honest with you, it might not be a good idea to try, and get involved. I would say in this situation, that you need to talk to the one who needs to be making the big changes, and this would be your mother.
Let her know that you feel like your father is abusing his power of financial freedom, as well as disrespecting her. Make her feel assertive in this situation. Second life, is just that, a second life, and he is using it to escape, and needs to be told that. What he is doing is considered cheating, and should not be tolerated.
As for your mom, she probably thinks everyday what you are saying in this question. She just might have some personal issues to deal with on this level. She might think she is not worth the fuss, or not strong enough to do what she must. It's up to you to reassure her. Tell her she is worth more than his bull.
Help her out, and remember, if you go into it thinking you can just talk, then you might just make him mad, and aggravate the situation more.
I hope I could be of help, I'm really trying here.
Good Luck!!My dad is playing an online game with another woman half his age. is that cheating? i know it hurts my mom.?
Cheating? Maybe...Harmful to self and family? Definitely. You know better whether its safe to confront you dad on this. If you do, remember that his behavior is probably fulfilling some need of his that he isn't getting at home. Your dad sounds like he's in a lot of pain. You could share your feelings and concerns about his behavior, avoid blaming, and you could ask him to consider counseling. Individual, for him and your mother, or for the family as a whole. Sounds like the lines of communication are down right now. Someone needs to try and get them working again. Sorry that this might need to be you. You're in no way obligated. A kid isn't responsible for their parents, but you might be in the best position, a more neutral party, to get your dad to open up.
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