Am I quietly losing the game of life?

Okay, I'm going to try and fit as much of this in here as possible:



I'm twenty years old, have a semester of college under my belt (took some gen-eds), drove across the country to california over the summer, and my transmission died. No problem, it was great. I had a blast. After staying there for a couple of months I caught a plane back to my hometown, and now I'm living with my aunt who i think is having some sort of mid life crisis. Unfortunately, I have nowhere else to go right now, but that's fine. I'm dealing with it. For the most part she just drinks wine and talks about "conspiracy theories", and I ignore her.



Since I cant afford another car just yet, I've been biking to get to work. It's one of the things i've learned to enjoy about my day.



Everyone in my family has been telling me to get my life together. My parents are divorced. Dad says he's "waiting for me to find my path", and my mom thinks I need help from Jesus or something.



I seriously dont know what to do anymore. I worked for a landscaping company before I left town, and made pretty good money. When I came back though, it seems the only jobs available were part-timers with highschool kids.



I'm working on paying off some debt, and it should be taken care of in another month. Then I'll start saving. I look forward to that.

I want to go back to school, but mostly just for the socializing (i know, wrong reasons). As much as I'd like to know what I want to do career-wise, that still hasnt come to me yet.

I've been told the reason why I dont get anywhere is because I "dont take myself seriously, so why should anyone else", and that bothers me. I consider myself an extremely self-aware individual, yet anymore it seems like that's become a handicap. I'm not a bad looking guy, but for some reason I cant seem to find anyone to start a relationship with.

If you ever met me in real life, you'd probably just think I was another average person. But my self esteem goes up and down. Sometimes I literally feel like I'm on top of the world, and others I see no point in anything. For the most part though, I tend to think I'm optomistic.



So....why cant I figure this out? It's come to the point where I find myself going online and having to ask something like this.



"The answers are within you!", yeah I know....I doubt it. I think I'm just missing something here.Am I quietly losing the game of life?
You are still 20 and i dont find anything wrong with your life at all,lets begin with your relationship,you are pretty much clear that you didnt got any gf because you didnt wanted to get into any relationship.i feel that you even look like any other average guy when girls look at you,girls like average guys who are responsible,smart and caring,believe it or not once you approach them,they will fall for you,infact when i saw your question i felt that you are smart.i need not say anything else,i guess.

The reason which you were given was wrong,you dont take yourself seriously,so what,you take your work seriously,you know whats your work and what do you want.you lose your self esteem and sometimes it goes on its way to touch sky,then you are probably a person who believes in himself but any incident which is disturbing can change you for a moment,you can say you are a bit moody.its just a guess,but not sure.to be very frank i would say,you should stop caring about anyone else.everyone's life is like this,for god's sake you are just 20,and at this age people start off like this,your mom says that jesus should show the way for you and your dad says he is waiting for you to find a path,but do you know what they actually mean?i know,they mean that they have confidence in you,they trust you,your mom says like that because women believe in god and they openly accept it,they say that because they know that god will make their son much successful,men also believe in god,but they dont normally come across like that.your dad siad he is waiting for you to find a path because he believes that you can find one.

Now about your Aunt,there is nothing to say about her as you know how to deal with her.

You are not losing your game of life,first of all life is not game,its just life,not game.because if that would have been a game,then winning or losing might have been an end of the whole story but here,winning and losing is the main pillar and basis of the story,its not game,not at all.you are not losing it,you are on your way to find your career and a way to live a happy life and every one who starts off their career will feel this way,so i dont even feel that its weird.





Its pretty long,but i hope you can bear with me.


Four letters;



GTFO!



Don't stay with your family any longer.



It cripples you.Am I quietly losing the game of life?
I'd move out. You'll find your niche. Landscaping and lawn care is something you can always do... begin small and grow. If you liked it there is designing landscape. Even within that small type of work are many possibilities.

It's the same for anything else you enjoy.

No matter what don't get stuck the rest of your life in a job you hate. You are only 20 you have time.
she has a point.....the Lord can help those who repent....Am I quietly losing the game of life?
From what you have written I see you as a person full of potential and open for new experience, these two characteristics are very vital in the current world and you can benefit from them hugely. It also seems that you are trying very hard to meet other people's expectations so why don't you just ignore the outside and follow what you believe and able to enjoy. When you take things easy and pushing forward all other thing just comes together - such as things like relationships. There is this negative atmosphere around that you should start to prevent so that you can focus on what you need and able to do.

I hope this have helped and the future seems bright , it is time for you to start realizing that.